Saturday, March 12, 2016

The Contact Story part 1

OK, here it goes. About a year ago I was contacted through encrypted messaging on the dark net by a guy claiming to be named Dr. 808. He went on to tell me he is friends with my friend Ed and  my creations Kenzie Keyz and BassBot. This was some bizzare shit. I typed "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and hit send, then something else happened. I had heard of
blue screen of death and white screen of death but never a tripping freak out screen of death which is the very next thing that happened. My computer screen went all rainbow and started flashing spirals of random images from my hard drive and then just froze like that. After a bunch of mumbled curses I started the computer back up but had no new messages from Dr. 808, whoever he was.

 I know who BassBot is. BassBot was a failed attempt at making a Youtube video with my art partner and best bud Ed E. Friend. We were filming bassbot in the backyard with a green screen and it was a pretty cool but kinda ghetto but hey, sometimes you just gotta get the idea out. It took a few takes and we did have a bit of trouble with a fire at one point but other than that filming went pretty well. While uploading the project to youtube the file got interrupted In its upload when the laptop battery died. So when we tried to do it again we couldn't because the file was corrupt. We said "FUCK" but we were already busy trying to bust out series 4 of Ghetto Lot kids in time for Dead 50 so we got back to that figuring we'd try again some other time. Ed and I are art buddies. We've been collaborating on projects for almost ten years. That's what was so freaky about the encrypted chat message that popped up when i was on the darknet, how did this person know about BassBot? We made BassBot one day out of nowhere thinking we could make this remote control car thing look like a robot and dance to a particularly dirsty Chasing Shadows bass drop but never actually uploaded it. I assumed it must be Ed, but you know what they say, if you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME. That, however, is some spiritual shit we need not need go into now.

 A few days later we were looking at sketches of ideas for the GLK's and I asked him "Dude, was that you that sent me that weird encrypted message  on TOR the other day. He said "No" with a quizzical expression. He added that he still can't figure out how to do the whole public/private key pgp thing. I asked him if he knew who Kenzie keyz was his expression went from quizzical to wide eyed amazement with a twinge of fear. He was like about to cry too or some shit. He quickly recovered and clearing his throat a bit asked “what the hell do you know about Kenzie Keys?” . I explained that some dude sent me an encrypted message via the .onion aka the darknet saying he was friends with our creations BassBot and Kenzie keyz. This caused a slight but noticeable twist in Ed's brow and he asked , "Then what did he say"? I cried "The computer tweaked the fuck out in the weirdest way I've ever seen and completely crashed!”  Ed instantly started to freak. He nearly screamed, "I told you to stop getting people worked up on the internet about the Flat Earth, Hollow earth, Reptilians, Lemurians and chem trails! The Illuminati is clearly watching us now, fuck fuck fuck!" I was like wow, slow down. Maybe it's one of Z Kamp's fans messing with us. He insisted that was not possible because he hadn't told anyone about Kenzie Keyz. Naturally I started questioning him about who the fuck is Kenzie Keys and  he expounded that he was his old Second Life avatar .

 He told me the long story of how he created a bunch of avatars in second life and would control them on multiple computers and act out scenarios in the virtual world for comedic effect and to fuck with people. It took over most of his nights for 2 years, he admitted. Kenzie Keyz was his favorite because he was a straight up ROCK STAR and had loaded him up with scripts to make him a keyboard playing bad ass possibly even better than Page Mcconnel. Ed said he even spent hours customizing his look which was partially inspired by a previous interest in MineCraft. Unfortunately however the computer he made Kenzie Keyz with had all the passwords info and fake email addresses to his many avatars. Many he never could retrieve and would have to start from scratch. We sat down and talked some more about what it could of been or who it could have been. Aliens? CIA? NASA? The Nazis? The Elders of Zion? So we did what we had to do, we went on the darknet to see if we would get contacted again. After about 3 hours of looking at weird shit you could buy like crack, stolen satellites from Russia, prices on Sour Diesel; you know the typical dark net stuff....boom, it happened we were contacted again by Dr. 808

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